i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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