Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Randomize
