I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
no you cant smoke seaweed
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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