I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
