Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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