My first STD was from a foam party
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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