it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
