Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
