Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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