he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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