it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
now i know why i became what i already was.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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