drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
