The maid of honor just puked.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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