I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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