i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
you win again, gameday.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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