Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
