Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
what the fuck happened to the tacos
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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