they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
