Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize