guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
