Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Sext me about skeletons
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
