so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
