you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
