I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
