Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
