just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
