Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
How does it feel to date your dad?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
