actually, I'm a sock model
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize