I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Randomize
