i dedicated my morning wood to you.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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