As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
