Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
