I've blown a few things in my day
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
