Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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