Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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