i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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