You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
