My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
My cat gives me a boner
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
