shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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