I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
