I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
