I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
