I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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