So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
