He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
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