thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
you never un-have a 4some
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
