Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
