I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
