Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
