She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
