You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
